Friday Night Meme Pick-me-up

Well, I’m tired. Had a bit of a tussle with the kids this afternoon (daycare closed early due to all the snow, so schedules were thrown off and kids were obnoxious and mama was frazzled by it all). Worried about work, money, etc. all week.

So, it’s nice to have something cheering to think about. How lovely to learn more about people’s marriages and weddings — first Charlotte, and then Kerryn, who tagged me.
1. Where/how did you meet? We met at Pasta Night, which was a monthly party hosted by Anthropapa and his roommates, in college. It was my second year, his last. It was Friday the 13th. He made amazing tomato sauce. We stayed up far too long, and when I was going to write down my phone number, he memorized it on the spot. Motivated, that one.

2. How long have you known each other? Let’s see…(counting on my fingers)…18 years this April.

3. How long after you met did you start dating? Immediately. He called me the next day.

4. How long did you date before getting engaged? Hmm…I wouldn’t exactly say we got engaged. We moved in together in June 1993, after I graduated college. We must have decided to get married some time at the end of that year. It was more of a conversation about what is the purpose of getting married, what does a marriage ceremony mean for us and for our friends and family, how does being married change our relationship to each other, etc. Very philosophical, not very romantic, I’m afraid.

5. How long was your engagement? Let’s say 10 months or thereabouts, since we were married October 1994.

6. How long have you been married? It will be 14 years this year! Now I feel really old and creaky.

7. What is your anniversary? October 16.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception? About 50. Mostly family and close friends.

9. What kind of cake did you serve? Oh, we had grand ambitions for the cake. We wanted to please everyone, so our cake had three layers: chocolate, white cake, and carrot. The top layer was the carrot, and we thought our vegetarian friends would appreciate it. We didn’t realize that the top layer would be put aside for us to freeze and eat on our first anniversary. Tasted like woodchips by then.

10. Where was your wedding? At the Westlake Village Inn, a beautiful hotel in my home town. We stood in front of the little gazebo by the lake.

11. What did you serve for the meal? Things are getting a little dim in the memory department, but I remember there being three choices, I think chicken, beef, and something vegetarian. I remember the food being good, but details escape me.

12. How many people were in your bridal party? We had three groomsmen — good friends of ours, and three bridesmaids — two of my friends and my cousin.

13. Are you still friends with them? One groomsman faded away, and I’ve been in brief contact with one of my friends, but all the others are still friends and relations.

14. Did your spouse cry during the wedding ceremony? I’m not sure there were actual tears, but I do recall something along the line of a very serious look and perhaps a wobbly chin at one point.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day? I remember the receiving line (did we really do something so formal?) as being a wonderful time of greeting all our most dear people personally and with great joy.

16. Any funny moments? Again, things are pretty blurry. I know there were lots of silly things going on among the tables at the reception, because each table was given a disposable camera and we have some fairly incriminating shots from them.

17. Any big disasters? Now I look back on my homemade dress as something of a disaster, but it actually looked just fine. The night beforehand, a friend was supposed to stay in the hotel room with me for company, but for some reasons signals got crossed and she never came. So that was a bit lonely, but not a big disaster really.

18. Where did you honeymoon? Both of us had grandparents that could not travel to our wedding, so we spent a few days in Oregon and a few more in New Hampshire. We got to explore a bit of the Oregon coast and Portland, and got a whirlwind tour of Boston and New Hampshire.

19. For how long? I think it was two weeks.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change? I think I would think a little bit less about providing a party for others, and would think a lot more about what would have been meaningful for us. I think I followed a lot of tradition that wasn’t meaningful at all. And I would have spent less time procrastinating on making my dress!

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Left, as you’re laying on it. This has varied over the years, though.

22. What size is your bed? Queen. Just right for us and the two cats. It was too small when we had four cats.

23. Greatest strength as a couple? We were friends for a long time, and still are. We have common interests, common taste, and are both committed to working through changes together instead of letting ourselves become different people in an inharmonious way.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple? Communicating clearly about relatively little things, like who’s going to do the dishes…which can lead to lack of communication in other areas.

25. Who literally pays the bills? I do. At first it was Anthropapa, and then for some reason that I don’t recall, we switched.

26. What is your song? Um, I don’t think we have one. Maybe “Manha Manha” from The Muppet Show?

27. What did you dance your first dance to? Oh lord, you expect me to remember that? We had a band, they played stuff like Harry Connick cover tunes, there was a small amount of dancing. It wasn’t a big part of the day.

28. Describe your wedding dress. White, natch. I think it was some kind of jacquard pattern, not very flashy. No major ruffles or flounces. A few seed pearls. No train.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding? I remember some freesia. The colors were white and blue. It’s all very hazy. The men had simple boutonnières, the ladies had corsages, and I had a not very large bouquet. There were also fresh flowers on the cake.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? No. They are ultra-plain white gold bands. Mine never comes off, unless I’m working with something icky like solvents or carrying something very heavy like furniture.

Well, all I can say is that I’m glad I have the photos, because otherwise it would all be lost in the mists of time! (Hmmm…maybe I better scan and upload some to Flickr…what if they get destroyed?) And I’m sure Anthropapa, Nana, or Papa B. can fill in a few details for me, as they were all there.

I don’t normally tag people either, but I think I would like to hear from Papa Bradstein, (un)relaxeddad, and healingmagichands.

Mahna mahna, doo-doo doo-doo-doo, mahna mahna, doo doo-doo-doo….

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16 Comments

Filed under Family, friends, life, papa

16 responses to “Friday Night Meme Pick-me-up

  1. Lovely memories. You got married two weeks after us! There was clearly something good about October 1994.

  2. Unfortunately (and Charlotte caught me out in this too!), we aren’t actually married in a legal, churchy, white sort of way. We almost registered the intention two years ago but we forgot our passports. We really must get around to it this year but I’m afraid it won’t be anything to write home about as I won’t go near a church and supermum hates weddings. Also, after 16 years, we’d rather put the money into a mortgage!

  3. Your wedding sounds lovely, and doesn’t the time fly after the event? I remember thinking on our wedding day that I couldn’t imagine being married for 5 or 10 years (not in an ominous way, it just seemed like too long a stretch of time to picture). But it was our 8th anniversary in January – how did that happen??

    I’ve heard that it’s stormy in your part of the world. I hope you’re all OK. And worries about work and money – I can relate to that…

  4. Mimi

    I think Salmon was the other choice………your dress was beautiful!!

  5. Your day sounds lovely. Thank you for sharing.

    He he. I now look on my dress as a bit of a disaster and still imagine it completely different to the way it turned out… But, yes, it did look fine on the day — I think — and as it turns out there was so much that was beautiful and happy about the day that the dress didn’t matter all that much.

  6. Nana

    I had your bouquet preserved and framed.

    There was also a Groom’s cake and you & my brilliant son in law sat at a table for 2!

  7. Charlotte: For us it was a lovely autumn day, which for that part of the world meant sunny and warm. It was a good month!

    URD: Now I think I remember you mentioning that on your blog once…darn.

    Helen: We had a wonderfully snowy storm that didn’t coat us with ice after, so we’re all good!

    Mimi: I knew someone would come to the rescue of my memory! Thanks!

    Kerryn: You’re right in that things like that don’t really matter so much in the grand scheme. But, it’s a lesson to me about not procrastinating, planning more ahead of time, and then being satisfied in the end.

    Nana: Oh yes, I remember the little table for two. Isn’t it odd how the couple are isolated, even at such a social occasion?

  8. Oh man, the memories. Your wedding was fantastic fun. Give me a few days, and I’ll gladly respond about ours, which was some kind of big fun too.

  9. What a great meme… I think I will steal it in the future.
    I’m with you on number 20… I wish we had just eloped… really, I do.
    We have a queen too, but I find it too small when the kids have nightmares. (So this gives me insight into your size!)
    We don’t have a song either. I loved how he called you the next day… and you just moved in together. When you know, you know.

  10. All right, I’ll get right on this Meme.

  11. It amazes me sometimes how few memories I have from the actual wedding. It seems like my memories are attached to the pictures of the wedding or are from before or after. Here’s some of the things I do remember…

    Picking up another groomsman from the airport and trying to figure out how to fit his wedding present, a 6 foot tall “Art on a Stick” into my Toyota Corolla.

    A beautiful poem from groomsman Papa B. (Sadly, not remembering the poem itself, but this was one of the moments where my chin may have quivered.)

    Feeling relieved that I had wisely decided not to try and sing at my own wedding. (I felt barely capable of standing up…)

    How well the three groomsmen cleaned up… They were a pretty dashing lot that day!

    Lots of kissing… people kept tapping on their wine glasses, expecting us to kiss when they did.

    I remember one moment, where I was looking out at the room full of people and how wonderful it was to see all of these people that I was connected to in one place and how grateful I was for all of these people. (I know… big thought…)

    Falling asleep on the floor at LAX because our flight to Portland had been delayed.

    My dad (who has generally demonstrated a definite streak of Yankee thriftiness,) renting us a huge white Cadillac in New Hampshire.

    I don’t think I would have changed much about the wedding. I wish I hadn’t been so stressed about it. I liked that it was a party for our friends, but it did seem like a lot of the form and details were determined by traditions or concepts about what a wedding should have been like.

  12. Papa B: I’m glad you remember it as a good day, because it’s reaaaally blurry for me!

    SusieJ: Yep, on some level, we knew.

    Anthropapa: Well, you certainly remembered some things I had forgotten! Smooch!

    HMH: I’m glad…your stories are always wonderful.

  13. Eicart

    From one of the bridesmaids…
    1) You were working on your dress up until the very last possible moment.
    2) The three bridesmaids together looked like the Andrews Sisters. You were kind to us, did not make us dress in chiffon monstrosities. Royal blue, knee length, kind of a tunic with attached skirt. It’s the only bridesmaid dress that I have been able to wear again (for semi-formal occassions).
    3) Best use of disposable cameras ever.
    4) You were both radiant, and beautiful, and everyone who passed near you was infected by the contagion of your stunning, goofy smiles. THAT’S why there was a receiving line.

  14. Eicart: Glad you came by the ol’ blog! Now I really need to dig out the wedding photos from the basement…you guys as the Andrews Sisters…hee hee.

  15. Pingback: Leap Year Wedding Meme – Bradstein Household

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