1) If you drop your laptop on the top of your foot, you won’t break any bones, but the top of your foot will turn blue and swell up and hurt like a motherf hell a lot.
(Don’t worry, I’m fine. I can even walk. And the laptop is fine, too.)
2) If your child comes running into the house crying and bleeding copiously, just say a prayer of thanks that you are calm in an emergency, you have plenty of clean towels, and that your child chose to wear a red shirt that day.
(Again, don’t worry. SillyBilly took a header in some gravel and got a 1 cm scalp wound. Nothing that lots of crying, cold water, and New Skin can’t fix. And yes, we consulted our Grammy the ER Nurse before attempting home treatment.)
3) If you’re moving 2,200 miles away in two weeks, and you’ve been eagerly awaiting something important for a long time, it will definitely be delayed.
(SillyBilly almost got his hearing aids today. The audiologist discovered that the otherwise wonderful $2,400 [each!] hearing aids did not come with the little doohickey that prevents the tiny battery from falling out when you open them. The tiny choking-hazard-toxic-chemical-hazard battery. So she’s reordering them.)