A Couple’s Meme

I could never top the added narrative in Charlotte’s rendition of this meme, so I won’t try. Just the facts.

What are your middle names?

Mine is Elaina, for no reason that I know of. I’m sure Nana will correct me if I’m wrong. Anthropapa has no middle name! Supposedly because his father hated his middle name and didn’t want to burden Anthropapa with one.

How long have you been together?

Hmm…we started dating in 1989, and got married in 1994, so either 20 years, or 15. God, I feel old.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

I think it was about a day. No more than a week, tops.

Who asked who out?

Anthropapa asked me out for Chinese food when he called me the day after we met at a party at his apartment.

How old are you?

I’m 38 and he’s 41.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

Neither. I don’t have siblings, and Anthropapa’s brothers and half-brothers live pretty far away.

Which situation is hardest on you as a couple?

Like Charlotte, we have a hard time being able to spend time alone together. With no family nearby since we left my hometown in 1995, it’s been a struggle. Right now we have friends with whom we’ve traded babysitting, so maybe that will be a good solution going forward

Oh, and bedtime with cranky, tired kids and parents. That always sucks.

Did you go to the same school?

We met in college, at University of California, Irvine.

Are you from the same home town?

No! I’m not even sure Anthropapa has a hometown, as his dad was in the Air Force. I moved once when I was 8 and that was only…checking Google Maps…40 miles. Anthropapa has lived in Kansas, Florida, Arizona, New Hampshire, Montana, and California!

Who is smarter?

That’s a loaded question! We have different talents. Anthropapa has been called both Mr. Engineer Smarty Pants and Mr. Computer Smarty Pants. I was labeled Gifted and Talented as a child, and know more literature and languages. We’re pretty even on the Scrabble front.

Who is the most sensitive?

I get teary-eyed more often at random things, but I’d say Anthropapa was closer to crying at our wedding than I was.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?

“Eat out as a couple”…what’s that? Most likely a sushi bar, if we can find one, though we’re just as likely to take our kids there too.

Where is the furthest you have traveled together as a couple?

Portland, Oregon to Boston, and NYC to Florida.

Who has the craziest exes?

I’m not sure either of us has what you’d call “exes”.

Who has the worst temper?

Neither of us has much of a temper, but I’d say Anthropapa lets his out a bit more easily. I get peevish instead.

Who does the most cooking?

It’s a tie. Anthropapa cooks most breakfasts, I cook most dinners.

Who is the most stubborn?

Me.

Who hogs the bed most?

I end up with more covers; Anthropapa uses more of the bed.

Who does the laundry?

Mostly me, with Anthropapa pinch-hitting.

Who’s better with the computer?

As users we’re close to even, but Anthropapa has worked in computer manufacturing and has been a programmer, so he’s much more technical and can take apart computers without qualms.

Who drives when you are together?

Anthropapa, unless he’s very tired or sick. He enjoys it more than I do, and his lazy eye is on the left, so he can see me better from the driver’s seat.

Advertisement

7 Things

Even though I just did this on Facebook, lovely Lisa of The Zahn Zone retaliated on her blog, and re-tagged me for this.

Since my ear feels much better (though my right cheek still feels like a railroad spike was jammed through it) and I feel just conscious enough to do a meme and not a more thoughtful post, here goes:

List seven random things about you. Tag the person who tagged you. Tag seven others. (I dislike tagging other people even though I’m game to be tagged. I break chain letters too.)

1. I love bacon. I could eat it every day. Not veggie bacon, not turkey bacon. I’m talking about fried strips of smoked pork. I’m sure I’ve now offended at least 1/3 of my readers. Sorry. I love it.
2. When I go to sleep I have to have whichever ear is facing up covered by my hair. Goes back to a childhood vampire paranoia (don’t you love the kid logic: if the vampire can’t see my neck, he won’t be tempted!). It was pretty dicey there when I had short hair after an ill-thought-out experiment three years ago.
3. I have those weird earlobes that are connected instead of hanging down. And I have a big mole on the left half of my forehead, with a matching one underneath my right (attached!) earlobe. There. Now you can all identify me in a lineup.
4. I have never seen the movie Titanic, and never plan to. At first it was out of a feeling of opposition to all the hype; now it’s just the momentum of the idea.
5. I once needle felted a rather accurate “Venus of Woolendorf” out of golden wool. Sadly, I gave her away, and can’t show you any pictures. But  it’s OK, because I really don’t need a fertility goddess around mucking things up. Two offspring is plenty.
6. I feel a rather strong sense of satisfaction and personal power every time I pull a newly baked loaf of bread from my oven. It’s like I can take a handful of simple ingredients, do some magic, and feed my family.
7. I twice portrayed the angel Gabriel on stage. In costume, singing. No wings, though.

Page 56 meme

Oh dear. I meant to write a meaningful, insightful post about a little-known current event that I feel is important on a national level. And then there’s the next section of Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker.

But my brain is mush tonight.

Helen to the rescue!

• Grab the book nearest you. Right now. Don’t dig for your favourite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.
• Turn to page 56.
• Find the fifth sentence.
• Post the sentence (and source) below.

Well, I’m going to have to do a few books, because this first one is uninspiring:

It’s a lot like timing the stock market: If you hit, there’s a lot of money to be made, and if you miss, you can lose the farm.

–All Over Creation, Ruth Ozeki

That wasn’t even being metaphorical. She was actually talking about potato farming, not “losing the farm” as in losing money on a risky bet. I like this book: the characters range from eco-hippies to spudmen, Hawaiian real-estate agents to New Age-obsessed PR executives. Plus it’s set where I live, which adds a nice layer of realism for me. But not a good choice of a sentence.

So then I’ll try this one:

Now work has resumed; the last of the 176 pontoon sections was completed in the shipyard today.

–King of Morning, Queen of Day, Ian McDonald

Oh dear, again. Never mind that the pontoons in question were part of an elaborate device meant to communicate with the alleged alien pilots of a comet streaking over Ireland in 1913, and that this book I found quite at random at the library is a fabulous fantasy with faeries and astronomers and characters that speak in anagrams…that sentence was deadly dull.

Hookay. Third time’s the charm, right?

“He’s proud,” she said, “but he’s not stupid, mother.”

–Orsinian Tales, Ursula K. LeGuin

(banging head against laptop) I can’t believe that a sentence like that must stand for this alluring and intriguing set of short stories by a master fantasy writer. But, there it is.

Commenter Meme

I saw this first on Charlotte‘s blog, but Ellie tagged me for it.

The rules:

1. List the last ten people who have commented on your blog.

The List:

1. Eve
2. Lori
3. Dawn
4. Alida
5. (un)relaxeddad
6. David
7. Denise
8. Helen
9. Jen
10. Nana

1: What is your favorite post from number 3’s blog?

I liked her series of posts on the history of her relationship with her husband. High school sweethearts!

2. Has number 10 taken any pictures that have moved you?

Well, yes, I suppose numerous pictures of me when I was a baby, plus some good ones of my kids as well.

3. Does number 6 reply to comments on their blog?

Oh yes. Sometimes they are more entertaining than the posts.

4. Which part of blogland is number 2 from?

The Midwest of the US.

5. If you could give one piece of advice to number 7 what would it be?

I can’t imagine that Denise needs any advice. She has a wonderful blog and does amazing things with her kids every day. Maybe…be kind to your back? 🙂

6. Have you ever tried something from number 9’s blog?

I might have to buy some whiskey to try her hot toddy recipe, if this sinus congestion turns into another cold.

7. Has number 1 blogged something that inspired you?

I can’t pick something, because literally all her posts are inspiring. Eve writes about parenting, psychology, religion, life, the universe, and everything. And always provokes me to write long, convoluted comments, which she responds to in kind!

8. How often do you comment on number 4’s blog?

I just started reading her blogs, but I pretty much comment on each post.

9. Do you wait for number 8 to post excitedly?

Oh, yes! I love to hear what Kikzy’s up to, and how her latest novel is coming along.

10. How did number 5’s blog change your life?

(un)relaxeddad has reminded me that music is important, even if it’s from the 80’s. He also helps me be a “world famous blogger,” as my husband likes to put it, being in the UK.

11. Do you know any of the 10 bloggers in person?

Nana doesn’t have a blog, but since she’s my mother, I suppose you could say I know her in person. I might someday get to meet Dawn, Alida, or David, since they all live in my general region of the US. If I had my way I’d meet you all!

12. Do any of your 10 bloggers know each other in person?

I don’t think so.

13. Out of the 10, which updates more frequently.

I would say Denise, Dawn, and Alida are probably tied, though Eve did have a prolific streak leading up to the election!

14. Which of the 10 keep you laughing?

All of them! David has a particularly witty sense of humor, and Helen’s observations of her son are very amusing (and I can relate to so many of them).

15. Which of the 10 has made you cry (good or bad tears)

No bad tears, but Eve has stirred my heartstrings on many an occasion.

* * * * *

OK, I don’t like to tag people, but supposedly if you’re on my list you should do this meme, too.

Gratuitous Food Post

I’ve been meaning to work on several draft posts on structure and Symbols: The Three, but the kids and I are all sick with terrible coughs, and my inlaws are in town for the weekend.

So instead of using my underfed brain cells for that, I bring you this meme. I found it on the charmingly titled Editorial Ass blog (and it originated on the Very Good Taste blog).

The Omnivore’s Hundred

Below is a list of 100 things that every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food – but a good omnivore should really try it all. Don’t worry if you don’t recognize everything in the hundred, either; Wikipedia has the answers.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/uncategorised/the-omnivores-hundred/ linking to your results.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

How did you do? I only got 46, and I thought I was pretty adventurous. Some things, like SPAM, I’ve just never had cause to eat (nor would I especially seek it out!) and others, like Kobe beef, are just beyond my price range at this point. Most of the alcohol would just never cross my path either. And honestly, I think I should get a few extra points for only crossing out three food items (and I could be convinced to try whole insects once, if it were the only food available). Fugu is just not dying for–I like my food without potent neurotoxins, thanks. Why raw Scotch Bonnet pepper would be considered food, I just don’t know. I crossed out the cigar because smoking might just kill me, too. And others, like sea urchin, I would never voluntarily eat again!

I could substitute some things as well: I’ve never had horse, but I have eaten chicken feet. I’ve never had Pocky, but I have had ice cream with silver foil on top. I’ve never had roadkill, but I have had bison. I’ve never had non-grape wine, but I have had homemade honey mead. I haven’t had rose harissa, but I have had Sriracha sauce.

A funny little FAQ about the list can be found here on the VGT blog, in case you’re wondering about the American junk food, or the kaolin.

Thirty-Seven Things

Curse you, netizens, for your infernal, distracting, navel-gazing memes! I got this one from Helen. (No curses for you, sweetie!)

1. Never in my life: have I left the US.
2. When I was five: I cut my own hair because I wanted Farrah Fawcett wings just like my cousin.
3. High School was: a blur.
4. I will never forget: the time I dislocated my shoulder. And the time I dislocated my knee. And then the other knee.
5. I once met: Eric Utne.
6. There’s this girl I know who: loves to dress up as a fairy and do a little dance.
7. Once, at a bar: I dressed up as a fine Victorian lady, and my date wore horns.
8. By noon, I’m usually: deep in a manuscript and nibbling on a piece of fruit crudite chocolate.
9. Last night: I woke up to thunder and rain.
10. If I only had: finished my honors thesis.
11. Next time I go to church: I hope to feel uplifted.
12. What worries me most: is my children suffering something painful.
13. When I turn my head left, I see: a 6-inch brass cricket, a tiny plastic fox, stacks of papers and books, and pictures of my kids.
14. When I turn my head right, I see: my dear husband.
15. You know I’m lying when: I don’t lie.
16. What I miss most about the eighties: is hearing Duran Duran without it being a marketing ploy targeting my generation.
17. If I were a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: Beatrice.
18. A better name for me would be: She-Who-Blogs-Too-Much (Alternatively, She-Who’s-Behind-on-the-Laundry.)
19. I have a hard time understanding: why people kill other people. And wear high heels. Not necessarily together.
20. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: get a master’s degree, probably in art history.
21. You know I like you if: I give you my home address.
22. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my husband, for always supporting me.
23. Take my advice, never: substitute for butter.
24. My ideal breakfast is: bagels, cream cheese, and lotsa lox, with good coffee. And quiet.
25. A song I love, but do not have is: “Kiss” by Prince.
26. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: heading south to the beach.
27. Why won’t people: get over themselves and think about others for once.
28. If you spend the night at my house: you will receive numerous crayon drawings and leave covered in cat hair.
29. I’d stop my wedding for: Mr. Darcy.
30. The world could do without: television.
31. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat uni.
32. My favorite blonde is: Napoleona.
33. Paper clips are more useful than: twist ties.
34. If I do anything well, it’s: finding yer spelling mistakes.
35. And by the way: if I were a cat, I’d be this one:

more cat pictures

A Very Unscientific Survey of What I’ve Read

(un)relaxeddad just put this meme on his blog, a list based on the top 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing’s users. You are supposed to bold the ones you’ve read (presumably willingly), underline the ones you read for school (presumably unwillingly, not always true in my case), and italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish (now, does that include ones I was supposed to read for school?). Let’s see how I did:

Food Meme

Gypsy at DomesticallyBlissed tagged me for the Food Porn Meme. I guess I’m more of an uptight suburban mom than I thought, because typing that word into my blog was very, very troublesome. Or maybe I’m just imagining the weirdo Google hits. Or that my mom reads this.

1. What food do you consider the best “date” food? In other words, what meal or food item do you think is sexiest to eat in the company of someone you would like to look sexy around?

Well, my first date with Anthropapa was Chinese food, which isn’t particularly sexy really. Too much slurping of noodles and dripping of sauce and fumbling with chopsticks. I think the sexiest thing to eat is something that you really, really like. Then you are enjoying yourself and relaxed and happy.

2. What well-known person would you like to share a meal with—with or without clothing. (saying whether or not clothes are involved is optional).

Hmmm…I think I’ll plead the fifth on the clothing part. My first instinct is to yell out “Colin Firth!!” (and if you’re a fan, do check out the photo in that link) but then he’s married, and he’s not really Mr. Darcy. Or Jamie Bennett. But I’m sure he would be interesting to, erm, talk to about acting and world travel and stuff. If she weren’t dead, I’d love to talk food with Julia Child over a good meal.

3. What does your perfect breakfast-in-bed look like? (Food AND the details, please. Candles? Music? Flowers? Hot tub? Dancing girls?

First of all, the food would not be made by me, nor cleaned up by me! My favorite breakfast is a lightly toasted sesame bagel with a bit too much cream cheese and smoked salmon, and good coffee with sugar and cream. Perhaps a token strawberry or two to represent the food groups I would be missing. This would all be served to me on a commodious and untippy tray with a cloth napkin, possibly some nice fresh flowers somewhere that I could gaze upon them, nothing too exotic — some sunset-colored tulips sound about right. There would be mounds of perfectly clean, cool white sheets and pillows, lots of sunshine (but not too bright), the whole day free before me. Anthropapa would be there, of course, lolling in the cool white bed and only arising to get the door for room service to deliver the bagels and coffee. The children would be firmly ensconced at Nana’s house for the duration.

Hookay, back from dreamland now.

4. What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?

On top of something chocolate, of course. Or possibly simply in a large bowl, with a spoon. No need for anything complex here!

5. Oh-God-No, Biff, the yacht is sinking! You are sent to the galley to retrieve the food. What luxury food items do you snatch first? The champagne? The caviar? Smoked Salmon? Truffles? Chocolate? Or something else?

Again, the smoked salmon would be calling my name. Probably the high-end chocolate as well. But then there’s all that fresh sushi the galley chef just finished making for us…decisions, decisions.

Well, I hate tagging people. Do it if you like!

A Meme of Privilege

I saw this at Charlotte’s Web today. She got it from the Noble Savage, who got it from What If No One’s Watching. The original authors of this exercise are Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, and Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.

Bold the true statements. You can explain further if you wish. (I added italics for ones that were almost true, or where I’m not entirely sure.)

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
She probably should have, but she was busy working and being a mom.
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Um, I assume so.
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
I probably had more than 50 books in my room alone. I was even a member of a book of the month club for kids.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Considering that we even had books stuffed on the high shelves in our closets, I’d say yes.
9. Were read children’s books by a parent
I have to assume so, since I have been told I started reading on my own at age 4, and I don’t remember much before that. No wonder I’ve had glasses since I was seven!
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
Swimming (briefly, hated it), one summer of tap/ballet/baton twirling (it was like the girly trifecta), and several years of piano.
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Uh, I have no idea. Tell me how self-employed, college-educated, geeky, overweight, semi-esoteric, married mothers of two are portrayed, and I’ll get back to you.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
I had an academic scholarship that paid for my tuition for a few years, then some of the tuition for the rest of the years, but my parents paid for everything else.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
I went to a private elementary school from kindergarten to third grade.
17. Went to summer camp
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
No one I knew shopped at thrift stores (to my knowledge). It was a very upper-middle-class to upper class area. I’m not even sure there are thrift stores there.
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
God bless them, they bought me a car while I was in college.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
We had a giant Peter Max serigraph of Ringo Starr, a giant Toulouse Lautrec-style vintage poster, and various watercolors and lithographs, some done by family members.
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
I’m assuming this means that we weren’t renting, not that they had paid off the mortgage!
25. You had your own room as a child
I was an only child.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
I think so, the memories are dim.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
I’m saying yes on this one as a technicality. I didn’t actually take a course, but I did take the pre-SAT, from which I became a National Merit Scholar and got the scholarship. The SAT was huge at my high school, with some kids taking it multiple times to increase their already high scores.
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school
But it was black and white and approximately 7 inches across, and still had dials for UHF and VHF. That hardly counts, right?
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
31. Went on a cruise with your family
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
Up until I was 8 years old, my parents both worked on “Museum Row” on Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles, so we went to the LA County Museum of Art many times. I remember the 1978 King Tut exhibit quite clearly. We also went to the J. Paul Getty Museum in Malibu, and the Norton Simon in Pasadena.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

So, this was an interesting meme. I would say that in my childhood I perceived a degree of family struggle to maintain the level of luxury enjoyed by our neighbors. My schools were mostly white, mostly college-bound. There was an assumption in my family that culture, reading, learning, going to school, etc. were all highly valued. We certainly had a comfortable life in pleasant surroundings, compared to many people in this world. I’m not sure how that falls out as far as privilege.

This brings up again some of the thoughts and concerns Anthropapa and I have had about sending our kids to Waldorf school, because for the most part these schools are white and upper middle class. They are expensive private schools. Do we want our kids to grow up thinking that is the norm? Do we want our kids to grow up feeling they are less privileged than their peers, because frankly, we’re not upper middle class?

More about the origins and background of this meme here and here.

Yes, it’s that book meme

I already posted today, but this little meme has been tickling the back of my mind for a while now. I love that it’s so random, and about books. I have two books that qualify, so I’ll do both. This one has appeared on several blogs I read lately, but I can’t remember them all, so the blame credit goes to (un)relaxeddad.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

2. Open the book to page 123. Update: go on to 223, 323, etc. if necessary to find something interesting.

3. Find the 5th Sentence.

4. Post the next 3 sentences.

5. Tag 5 people. Feh. I don’t mind being tagged, but I never feel like tagging others. Play if you wish.

Hookay. The nearest book at hand is Theosophy, by Rudolf Steiner. I’m part of an online study group working with this one.

Our physical eyes perceive a lion, and our sense-oriented thinking perceives the idea of the lion merely as a phantom, a shadowy image. But in the country of spirit beings, the idea of the lion is as real and visible to our spiritual eyes as the physical lion is to our physical eyes. The comparison we used in connection with the soul world is also pertinent.

Sorry, that last sentence is a bit out of context. Not Steiner at his most esoteric or odd, though “the country of spirit beings” is a bit of a teaser. Page 223 is in the index, so I’ll spare you that.

The other book at hand is Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I’m reading it for the second time. It’s spring, we just saw some new lambs yesterday, and it’s time to think about whether we can find any sunny patches in our maple forest-infested yard to plant some veggies in a few months.

Local food is a handshake deal in a community gathering place. It involves farmers with first names, who show up week after week. It means an open-door policy on the fields, where neighborhood buyers are welcome to come have a look, and pick their food from the vine.

Well, that’s great, but where are the funny anecdotes about phallic asparagus or stinky goats? Let’s try page 223 to see if something more juicy comes up:

The farm-liberation fantasy simply reflects a modern cultural confusion about farm animals. They’re human property,  not just legally but biologically. Over the millennia of our clever history, we created from wild progenitors whole new classes of beasts whose sole purpose was to feed us.

Ah well, we’ve caught her in her didactic sections. Moving right along…one more book close at hand is Miss Bianca by Margery Sharp. Loved this as a kid, got it for my kids recently at a thrift store. This copy is older than I am, has pages falling out, has caramel-colored oxidized pages, and has that sweet old-book smell. I love it dearly.

It was a long, dreadful night indeed, to Patience and Miss Bianca — running and running, pausing just for a moment when Patience had a stitch, then running and running again! In the thick of the forest as they now were, they had certain advantages: so many rabbit and ferret runs, so many fox and badger paths, confused their scent. But it was Torment Miss Bianca had heard: fleeter of foot than his sergeant (as corporals often are), Torment had at once taken the lead, and well it was for Patience and Miss Bianca that his nose now and then betrayed him!

Now, don’t you agree that I should have reached for the children’s section to begin with? How’s that for imagery, action, mood?